One of my longstanding struggles with religion is its obscuring of faith. I have trouble finding comfort in something that mires itself in details, dogmatism and judgements. I have trouble signing up for something that professes an adamant certainty - a certainty that allows its followers to discard their free will, and one so strong that it allows a religion to look down upon other Christians of different stripes, despite the sharing of core beliefs.
It is those core beliefs that I am after, and I’ve decided to give up religion-shopping and to get back to basics, to seek God through the life lessons he left for us that really matter in the end. These are things like the Beatitudes and the ten commandments, things that cannot be re-interpreted to suit a specific religion’s leanings, a period in history or a contemporary culture. Do not kill is do not kill, no matter what century.
I believe I was given free will for a reason, and I am humbled by the terrible responsibility to use it wisely. I actually find peace in recognizing my imperfection and life’s uncertainties. Perhaps it is my professional training as a journalist that makes me a consummate skeptic, but I am always a bit wary of people who are absolutely sure they know, or are certain they have the answer (except in algebra).
Recognizing my inability is freeing. I just read a poem that articulates the feeling perfectly: “We cannot do everything, and there is a sense of liberation in realizing this. This enables us to do something, and to do it very well.”
The poem was written by Bishop Ken Unterer of Saginaw, Mich. in 1979 for a celebration memorializing departed priests. It has become associated with the Archbishop of San Salvador, Oscar Romero, who was assassinated in 1980 while celebrating Mass in the chapel of the hospital where he lived.
A Future Not Our Own
It helps now and then to step back and take a long view.
The Kingdom is not only beyond our efforts, it is beyond our vision.
We accomplish in our lifetime only a fraction
of the magnificent enterprise that is God’s work.
Nothing we do is complete, which is another way of saying that the Kingdom always lies beyond us.
No statement says all that could be said.
No prayer fully expresses our faith.
No confession brings perfection, no pastoral visit brings wholeness.
No program accomplishes the Church’s mission.
No set of goals and objectives include everything.
This is what we are about.
We plant the seeds that one day will grow.
We water the seeds already planted, knowing that they hold future promise.
We lay foundations that will need further development.
We provide yeast that produces effects far beyond our capabilities.
We cannot do everything, and there is a sense of liberation in realizing this.
This enables us to do something, and to do it very well.
It may be incomplete, but it is a beginning, a step along the way, an opportunity for the Lord’s grace to enter and do the rest.
We may never see the end results, but that is the difference between the master builder and the worker.
We are workers, not master builders, ministers, not messiahs.
We are prophets of a future not our own.
Katherine, most people, including myself, “have trouble finding comfort in something that mires itself in details, dogmatism and judgements,” or in any other graceless pursuit. I think that Christianity too often finds its true nature lost in such things. Christianity at its core goes back to exactly what you are suggesting that you want to do, to seeking God and knowing Him through the life He lives as exemplified by the Word and through those who allow Jesus to live through them. I wish you well in pursuing Him. I do hope that you can find, though, that faith and certainty are not mutually exclusive. “Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” Since Christianity is all about a relationship with a person (Jesus,) not about the rules and hollow ritual that turns many of us off, we can find certainty of what we hope for through One we can know more and more as we invest in that relationship. Being certain of what we’ve experienced already in that relationship brings us a degree of certainty of what we can expect to come. God bless.